As a small business owner, artist, and just a human I have days where I doubt what I am doing. I doubt that it is worth doing tomorrow or the next day. I doubt my skills, I doubt my efforts. I see very few sales during the holidays and take it as a personal reflection on my work and what I have spent the past 5 years learning and creating. But here’s the thing about doubt….and fear. You can’t listen to it. You can’t let it stop you. I have a fire inside that is forever burning. Some days it is only a flicker and other days it is a wild raging beast of it’s own creation. I know that fear will whisper in the dark recesses of my mind and try to stop me. I know it is there. I hear it daily, sometimes every moment of my day.
Do you know why I push it away, why I ignore it?….Because I love creating. I love working with metal. I love it when someone lets me create something personal for them. Or I create something personal for myself. Those moments keep me going.
A year ago I sent out random pendants to people that were struggling with death, pain, cancer, or other issues. I had never met these people, yet it didn’t matter. I wanted them to know their was someone out there that loved them. They received a piece of jewelry from me. I sent out 10. I heard back from 3. And do you know, the ones that wrote back, those people were thankful. Those people still wear that jewelry today. To know that there is a piece of jewelry that I handcrafted with love, floating around and being worn by people all over the USA, Canada, Ireland, UK, Australia, and even Chile. That fills me with such joy that the fear has no room to be. It has to leave.
So every time I start thinking about how maybe I should just quit all this nonsense and do something “useful”. I look back at where I was 5 years ago. I look at the custom work I created for people and I remember why I do what I do. Why I work non stop every single day. Why I wear my body out physically to create just one hand hammered piece. Why I continue to push and learn new techniques to better my skills and creations. I remember that I have a passion. I have a love for life that needs to be shared. And in sharing that passion, maybe, just maybe it will inspire one other person to keep following their dreams.
So Chin Up! I got this. Fear can kiss my ass. I got things to create! Visions in my head that need to see the light of day. Fear doesn’t play a part in that. Love does. So I’ve laced up my boots, put my mind in a loving space and my smile in place. Ready for the next piece of metal to mold to my will.
Peace and Love to you all!
LoraLee (human, artist, small business owner)